Things you did not know about life in prison

You would think that with everything that is happening in prison you have heard it all. Well brace yourself, here are a few facts and stories you did not know about prison and the inmates in prison.

The big cheese or just dumb luck?

In some states, you still go to jail for a speeding ticket. This tough army guy was pulled over for a speeding ticket; he did not have money to pay, so the police put him in the cells.

A day after his arrest he appeared in court in front of the judge, the judge probably had a bad day, but he would not listen to reason. The judge orders him to go to jail at the rate of $12 a day until the ticket is paid up. The amount of the ticket is $1000.

So, the first day in jail and someone came to tell him he must go to the chow line or he will be in trouble, so he thought oh great my tummy is grumbling why not. He took a tray and went to the guy handing out the food. Then he took the food from his hand and proceeded to a table.

He looked up, and everyone just stares at him, and when he looked back, the sheepishly look away and try to ignore him. He later found out that he cut the line and everyone thought he was this big shot, no-nonsense tough guy and they were scared of him. In the meantime, he had never intentionally broken the law, and his only crime was to do 70 in a 55 zone.

It is all about perception and how people see you. He was not proud of being in prison. He had self-worth about him, and I think it threw his fellow prison mates off. Never did he have any problems in prison, and in the end, he paid off his ticket and had a great story to tell when he went back to work.

Better get charged up

Batteries are something we use in television controls and all types of different technological devices. However, one man in a prison used it for quite a different purpose. He believes if he puts an AA battery up on the wall, inhale deeply and hum he would rid the building of evil. At least he tried to do something good by making prison a better place for everyone or so he thinks. I think the correctional officers, let him do it as he is not hurting anyone and he believes he is doing something good, so no harm no foul. He became known as the Battery man and was a legend in that prison. No one bothered him while he did his rituals which he did a couple of times during the day. May the spirit of Energizer be with you.

Pets in prison

Not everything in prison is illegal. One prisoner had a rather sad experience. Since it gets lonely in prison and for prisoners with long sentences, some prisons allow some pets.

This prisoner had a pet budgie, and since he had no one else. The budgie was his child. One sad day the budgie died, he decided to give his child budgie a proper burial outside at one of the trees. 20 minutes later he saw some of the correctional officers digging at the tree. They saw him bury something under the tree. They thought he had contraband that he hid there. It is a common practice in jail to hide contraband under trees and then sell it.

They soon discovered his budgie and had a laugh about it. He said that he felt closer to that budgie than most of his human relationships that he had and that is part of the reason he was in jail.

A lot of people turn to their pets for comfort, think about it. Pets are always there for you; they do not get angry at you. They are always happy to see you, you can talk your heart out to them, and your secrets is safe with them.

Overpopulation in Prison and nasty practices

We are now traveling to South Africa. Most of the prisons are overcrowded. Pollsmoor in Cape Town houses some of the most dangerous murderers; some of the prisons cells are 300% over capacity.

A cell which is designed to house 19 people currently has 86 detainees. The detainees share one toilet and a shower.

Pollsmoor acting head, Cecil John Jacbos has released a statement to CNN which he stated the conditions is inhumane, but the prison never invites anyone to kill someone and then feel the prison can accommodate them. With over four thousand inmates some awaiting trail the over crowdedness has caused prisoners to die from many infections and diseases and not having access to clean water and toilets.

In South African prisons you get a jail mother too. You would pay them, and they bring you food, medication and anything else you require. The jail mother would sometimes use the prisoners for sexual favors; if you refuse, they would cut you off and adopt another prisoner.

The wardens in prison practice toppers. Toppers are when they punish a prisoner on the top of their fingers with a broomstick.

One women prisoner was pregnant; the other inmates was sure she lost her baby, and she was stinking. It smelt like rotting flesh, and nobody bothered to help her. According to me, the government of South Africa does not seem to be bothered about the situations in their prisons. I believe if the country’s system’s outside jail is functioning better then the situation in prison would also be better as there would be a reduction in detainees.

Causing massive injury to other prisoners

In one of New York’s prisons, they would heat up baby oil or Vaseline up to 190 degrees of warm water and put rice with it and throw the scolding concoction into someone’s face. It is so hot that some people rip their flesh from their faces to get it off. My question would be Why? Are they bored? I guess you can expect a lot of strange things and you cannot ask too many questions in the slammer. It is thousands of different people and personalities that are already crime-inclined in one building. A very dangerous mix.

Here are more peculiar and sometimes funny stories about life in prison.

No restraint can cut it

In prison, they would put some people on the watch list for self-harming or suicide risk. They put a juvenile in a padded room took everything away that he could harm himself. The next thing the wardens see is how the juvenile ripped out his braces and started harming himself with it.

Quick Clipping

Someone saw a prisoner cut off his nipples with toenail clippers, before the guards got to him he cut off his eyelids too. In my opinion, it is not only stupid, but if you do not get medical attention soon, you will bleed to death. I do not know what the reason behind this was, but I am sure it is not worth cutting your nipples. It must have been so painful, I do want to stress that no one should try this and if you feel like doing something similar, please get help.

Personal alteration

It was almost time to be released, and this one prisoner thought he could make an adjustment to his penis for his girlfriend. He broke a handle of a coffee cup and grinding it down on the floor. He grinds the piece of plastic so much that in the end, it was about the size of a quarter and as thick as a pencil in the form of a heart. Either he was a brave man or stupid you decide. He took a razor and cut open his penis and inserted the plastic heart into his penis. I mean come on people who does that? I wish I could see the expression on his girlfriend’s face; she must have been so flattered that he went through all that pain just for her.

Hiding in not so plain sight

Normally when people are obese, most try to diet or exercise more. George Vera, a Texas inmate, used his fat flab to smuggle in an unloaded 9mm pistol. George is so obese that he passed several frisks and not one guard spotted his pistol. It must be so uncomfortable to be so fat, to put a pistol in your fat that the body scans in the prison can not even detect the pistol. I guess the correctional officers never made that mistake again.

Spreading the love

Suffice to say that prisons hold the weirdest crackpots. Sometimes I think to be behind bars makes some people just more nutty than usual. This prison inmate liked to spray his semen over everyone’s faces. Guards, other inmates and anyone that is close by. He would sometimes urinate and makes number 2 on people and their faces. What I want to know is why nobody stopped him, that is by all accounts gross and not only does he have no respect for other people he also has no shame.

Prison Easter Bunny

Easter weekend, A time for families to spend quality time together and eat hot cross buns and chocolate bunnies. In prison some inmate thought it would be funny to strip naked and put a toilet scrubber into his anus so that the only part sticking out is the bristles, giving him the perfect bunny tail. He then hopped around the prison screaming he was the Easter Bunny while he avoided the guards. I guess it can become boring in prison and somehow they thought doing stupid things can entertain them.

It is one thing to do crazy things to yourself but imagine how someone else must be traumatized by seeing something weird and unusual.

You put what? Where?

An ex-corrections officer saw how a prison inmate was masturbating with a light bulb. As a corrections officer, you see a lot of weird things, and this was just a normal day for this corrections officer. The inmate put the into his anus and started to masturbate, the bulb got stuck, and he could not get it out. The prison inmate asked to be taken to the medical center, while he was waiting to be helped, the bulb burst inside him, and he started to scream. There was so much blood they had to airlift him to the hospital, where they opened him up and rinsed him out. This corrections officer was in the room the whole time as he had to escort the prisoner, he said that was the worst thing he ever saw, and he still has nightmares about that.

Let it rain!

Some people find religion in prison. Others find a connection to talk to the spirit world. Don Decker was in prison in 1983 for the possession of stolen goods. Don lived a normal, uneventful life and he was by all accounts just a normal prison inmate.

While in jail Don was granted a weekend out of jail to attend his abusive grandfather’s funeral. Back in jail Don could somehow create moisture and make it rain in his cell. There are so many people that testified under oath with nothing to lose that it is true. Don was released, and in 2012 he found himself back in prison for arson. It is possible for people to do things like Don but you open yourself to a dark world and a lot of people that got sucked into that struggle to get out of it. It starts as an interest and then becomes an addiction.

Some wet and wild fun

Swimming Pools is not a big amenity at prisons. However, one prison has a swimming pool, and an inmate was on his way to the swimming pool. It was warm and humid, and he was happy to cool off. He was a new inmate. On his way, he encountered a white, stocky young male with a black guy having sexual intercourse. Homosexuality is nothing new in prisons, and some prisoners would have same-sex relations to have fun and other times to scare prisoners. The inmate was so scared that he never went for a swim again.

Prison can be a very scary place for anyone; veteran prisoners have seen some of the worst things in prisons. Prison life is hard no matter what you did to deserve to be there. Personality changes and hardcore fights is just some of the things that happen to people in prison. No matter who you are, if you do not have some connections either in or outside of prison the statistics shows that you will be subjected to punishment, rape and sometimes torture.


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